Facebook Ah-Musings

Yesterday I was sick of cleaning house so I posted this:

ADD cleaning stinks. Figuratively and literally. If I could just finish one room and say, look there I did something. Or even if I could add the H and have ADHD then I would still only have part of every room done, but I would be still be zooming around the house (probably tinkering with something and not cleaning, but zooming nonetheless).

My wonderful and fabulous SIL (seriously she's amazing and I have yet to figure out how she is possibly related to my husband) responded with her tried and tested method for staying in one room and finishing it that includes using piles and staying in the room you are cleaning.  It's a great plan, but I wasn't following yesterday.  You can read Facebook if you want to see her entire plan or go to her blog http://www.dementiawoman.blogspot.com/ to read many other amusing things in her life.

However, this prompted a few reply comments from me on how my day was going.  Staying in one room was impossible for me and posting to Facebook much more amusing:

Piles are a must and I have taught my kids this method too. But I'm terrible at the "don't leave the room" part. For example I cleaned the kitchen counters. Next I wanted to do the floors and the room would be done. (Dishes were done earlier in the day while I made breakfast. But then I realized I needed to go find the dust pan as it wasn't in the pantry where it belongs. I found it next to the cat box and realized that smelled so bad I wanted to do it immediately. This led to taking out the laundry room trash because it's what I put the litter in. On the way back in I realized I didn't finish a spray painting project from yesterday. It's almost done, and then I could get that put away. But if I spray it later I will need to wait for it to dry. Sooooo I finish spray painting and put the paints away. When I did that I realized I needed to change the laundry and fold the towels. Once I finished that I decided I needed to get back to the kitchen floor. Armed with the dust pan this time I head to the kitchen and realize I should move the table and chairs and do the whole floor at once. That seems exhausting so I sat down and added the above status to Facebook. Kicking myself in the ass I then realized I shouldn't move the tables and chairs until I vacuum the space I am going to put them in or I won't be able to do that until the floor is dry. So I vacuum, move tables and clean floors. Amazingly on task for a few minutes. My kitchen and dining room are clean. Half the living room is vacuumed and the other half is picked up waiting to be vacuumed. But I remembered I had a phone call to make and got out the computer to get the number. And now I am adding comments to Facebook. Now if only I could find my phone....

After that I took a break to share my thoughts on the suggestion that I need to pay someone to clean my house:

So random things that go through my mind...paying someone to clean is definitely the best option. Anyone else could clean my house better. However, this may prove problematic. Here's how I imagine it going, "Thanks for cleaning my house. It looks fantastic."

"Here is your payment."

Housekeeper: "Uhm, ma'am you can't pay me in dog hair. That isn't a valid form of currency."

Me: "Oh really. Gosh, it's so nice and fluffy. It would make good pillows. And well, I really don't have an abundance of anything else except ticks. And well, they bite."


And then I had one more housecleaning tip for the day:

And my other random thought: Whoever invented bagless vacuums should be shot. It used to go like this: Unzip vacuum and remove bag. Throw in trash. Never see or touch dirt you just vacuumed. Put new bag in. You're ready to go. How it goes now: Push damn button that doesn't really unlatch anything. Yank it around for a bit and finally wrestle canister off of vacuum. Next hold canister over trash can and push other damn button to release dirt. Then shake f*ing canister because it won't open. Bang it around for a bit and finally get it open to allow dirt to fall out all over the trash can, your hands, and the floor you just freaking cleaned! Clean up this mess while rubbing dirt across your forehead. Then take 8 other parts of your vacuum to pull out filter and take outside to shake. Thus allowing the wind to blow MORE dirt in your eye. Wipe off face. Apply eye drops to clear dust out of eyes. Feel eye drops and dirt run down your face. Wash face. Discover you haven't even started on the bathroom which is filthy. Sit down in front of computer and post useless crap on Facebook and Pinterest.

My SIL's response:  Yeah, that had to be invented by people who subsist on apples and worry about landfills but never really have had to clean up after four kids, three dogs, a cat, a husband who refuses to hold a "clean" desk job, his filthy friends, and their accident-prone-always-dropping-stuff self. They indeed need to be shot. ...and vacuumed up

Yup, I agree.  Amen.